A long-distance relationship can be difficult to maintain because you need time to build trust and love your partner, unlike relationships where you can see, discuss at length and enjoy each other’s presence. There are several reasons why people want to take a break in a long-distance relationship. Taking a break doesn’t mean you guys are separating or breaking up, but you want to take some time off for self-renewal and think of the way forward.
There are many challenges people in a long-distance relationship face. When these challenges are prolonged, they can be draining with mental health challenges that can affect your general productivity.
Many people resort to long-distance relationships because of a job transfer, professional training, vacation with family, business trips, change in location, and other factors. Both parties must commit themselves to the relationship to make it work, but you should take a break when you feel things are not going smoothly.
When you begin to have doubt or sense that your partner is unfaithful, doesn’t give you much attention again, doesn’t seem to check on you, brighten up your day and night, then you should go on a break and find out what’s wrong and if the relationship will work out.
Here are the ways by which you could take a break in a long-distance relationship;
Know that it is not about them but the attitude
Before you take a break in a long-distance relationship, separate the person from their attitude, then address the attitude without reducing your love and affection to the person. Focus on the issue and not on the person, then you can both address it.
Let them know how you feel.
Please don’t assume they understand your silence and the reason you are drawing back. Explain to your partner how you feel about the relationship and how that you need time to get yourself back and renew your mind to handle things well.
Let them know the difference between taking a break and a break-up
Most people don’t know the difference between taking a break in a relationship and breaking up. Your partner may fall into that category. Take your time and explain to them your intention.
Don’t set a definite time for your partner.
You may need more time to heal up and come around, so don’t give your partner a definite or particular time so they won’t be disappointed when you still need time.
Ensure you are both in agreement
The fact that you have explained to them doesn’t mean they have reached a consensus with you on taking a break. If you don’t want to lose your partner, make sure you both agree on a break. If your partner wants a break, ensure you look into it with them and allow them to go on the break for the good of the two of you.
Take out time and study yourself.
Your break should be for studying yourself to know what you want in your partner if you love them genuinely and want to continue with the relationship. It is time to see if you are the insecure one or something is happening.
Also, if your partner has cheated or has been unfaithful to you and has affected you, the trust you have for your partner, then you should decide whether you want to move on or forgive your partner and let it pass.
Most importantly, study yourself, know what you want from the relationship and where you need to grow as well. Remember, when growth stops in a relationship, friction occurs.
Seek for help
If you need to meet a relationship expert to discuss your emotional affairs while you take a break in a long-distance relationship, meet an expert and set a goal for your effectiveness sessions. Sometimes, due to many challenges involved in a long-distance relationship, there may be a lot of pressure involved. Seek help while on break on how to manage yourself and handle the anxiety and stress involved in the relationship to avoid an unnecessary emotional outburst.
You can as well see a counselor who will counsel you or both of you on the matter that’s on the ground. It will help you make up your mind fast.
Don’t be scared to give them space.
Sometimes we genuinely need space and time, but we may be scared of losing our partner if we give them space. Going on a break is for the benefit of the two of you, so you don’t have to be scared of losing them. Just ensure you are both clear on why you need a break and what needs to be fixed.
Don’t fill your mind with negativity.
You are stressed and under pressure from the relationship, and you need to take a break in a long-distance relationship, but you should never fill your mind with negativity. Be sure you weigh your options on neutral ground and not because they have offended you or done something wrong that you are angry about. Remember, it’s about the issue and not the person. You fell in love with the person, so separate the personality from their error and don’t be judgemental.
You don’t have to keep in touch.
Remember you are on a break and not scared to lose your partner, the best way to enjoy the break and get back with a renewed energy and strength is to give them space and reduce the level at which you keep in touch with them. Text messages are okay to check on them, but avoid long discussions and arguments that may want to spark up your emotions or negative thoughts and emotions. So, give them space for you to have a clear mind to think on all you need to think of and settle everything you need to fix before you reconnect back.
Go for therapy
You can both agree to see a mental health therapist who can help you get over the hurt, pain and help you heal together even though you guys have not agreed to get back together. Therapies will help you clear your mind and clarify what exactly is wrong and what to do.
Go on social media break as well.
Social media contents have a way of making your decisions for you subtly without your permission. Remember, every relationship has its uniqueness, and you don’t have to every dick and Harry before making your decisions and knowing what is ideal in a relationship. It is about you and your partner. So, replace social media with some quality soul-searching questions and activities that will keep you engaged while you try to figure out things.
Chose who you open up to
Remember, this is about you and your partner; you don’t have to bring in a third party that won’t be healthy for your relationship. Your relationship is entirely different from your friend’s relationship. Draw the boundaries, and know what to share and what not to share.
I heard a story of two sisters who were both involved in long-distance relationships. The elder sister’s fiancé disappointed her in the long run, and she decided to use her experience to counsel her younger sister. In the end, the elder sister made her younger sister change her mind about her fiancé, who was far away, so she jumped into a relationship with someone else without thinking twice.
A few months later, her fiancé came back to town for them to plan their wedding, but because she had listened to her sister, who used her failed experience from her long-distance relationship to counsel her, she lost her man due to bad advice and mistrust; hence her relationship failed as well.
So, while on break and your friends and family ask you about your relationship, draw the lines, and choose what you share until you are ready to open up after making your decisions.
Set boundaries while on break
After you have gotten to the root of what made you ask for a break in the first place, you should set boundaries for both of you; what you can take and what you won’t take in the relationship. This helps you get back on track and build the relationship without any sentiment of fear of losing each other and enables you to build trust all over again.
Set goals for your relationship
One thing that has helped several successful relationships today is the art of goal setting. Goals give you focus and allows you to commit everything you have to make it work. So, set specific goals for your relationship while on the break after you have made up your mind to make it work and ensure you follow through.
A long-distance relationship comes with several challenges, and you should never keep quiet when you are drained. If you need a break, take a break in a long-distance relationship and review the relationship to get clarity and know the next step. Ensure while you are on break, you are not distracted, and it’s with your partner’s consent.
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Is it okay to take a break in a long-distance relationship?
No one can decide that for you; if you are overwhelmed, taking a break is okay.
How can I take a break in a long-distance relationship?
First, know you’re why, then if your reason is genuine, go on a break.