Break up sometimes can be traumatic, affecting your psychological and holistic well-being, which is why you need to know how to get over a traumatic breakup. At a point, you feel the need to get over the break-up, but you don’t know how to.
If you want to get over a traumatic break-up, you need to know that getting over a break up doesn’t happen in a day. As wounds take time to heal, so do breakups.
This article will help you get over a traumatic breakup and understand how silence helps after a breakup, what to do after a breakup, how to deal with a traumatic breakup, how to move on after a breakup, and how to get over a breakup quickly.
How silence helps after a breakup: Silence allows you to recover fast from a fresh break up; it helps you comprehend all that just happened, calms you, and gives room for making plans about the next step.
How to deal with a traumatic break-up
These tips can help you get over a traumatic break-up
You have to determine within yourself that you want to heal. If you don’t, there is every tendency you are just going to try so hard and end up frustrated without leaving your starting point.
Have you decided you want to move on? If yes, you have to think through the beautiful and ugly moments too. Be careful when doing this, so you don’t get lost in thought. However, you should make the “good and bad lists” while having this thought. This list will help you remember the reasons you want to go back into the relationship and why you should let go.
Don’t bottle them up
Let out your emotions. It is not a good decision to keep the way you feel to yourself alone if you want to heal. You have been told that time heals, no! It doesn’t if you do nothing with the time. If you feel like crying, feel free to cry (you can do it when no one is around). If you want to rage or scream, do. Pour out your emotions, talk to someone; it will make you feel better.
What to do after a breakup
Talk about it
You probably have people who don’t want to listen to your break up story or people who just tell you “don’t worry, you’ll get over it soon” as soon as you mention it. They make you feel like you can’t talk about it because no one wants to listen. Don’t be discouraged; talk about it; it’s therapeutic. You can invite a friend you know is a good listener and tell them to keep asking questions about your relationship or talk to a counselor or a therapist. If no one would listen, a counselor will, because that is their job.
Do more of what makes you happy. You have been sad for a while that you don’t even know how to smile anymore. Get used to smiling again, watch funny movies and TV shows, spend time with those folks that crack your ribs, take selfies(if they make you happy) pamper yourself. With time, you feel happy without inducing it.
Reconnect with your old friends, and family
When you are in love, you feel you need nothing and no one else. This feeling makes you side-line your friends and family. You then lose connection with them. Imagine how arriving at home after a long, tiring walk feels- that is how you feel when you reconnect with your old friends. Spend more time on the phone with them, visit them, and have long talks(there will be moments of wine and wet tissues too). If they are far away or you don’t have the time or resources to meet with them, you can face call or chat with them on social media.
HOW TO MOVE ON AFTER A BREAKUP
Own the keys to your life
You have given the keys to your life to someone; now they have driven you crazy. You need to take it back, own it! Take charge of your life. You built your life around them, and even your happiness was dependent on their mood. It is time you realized that anyone can leave anytime, and you will always be left with you when it comes to your life. So, take the keys now and enjoy the drive.
Stop beating yourself up
You both have your flaws and faults, and they are the reason you broke up. Stop putting the blame all on yourself. Stop beating yourself up. When the thoughts creep in, tell yourself that you have tried. Try to think about your positive contributions to the relationship and look away from your faults. If you don’t stop blaming yourself, you won’t leave that state easily.
Say goodbye to stalking
You check your phone every time to see if he has called; you check him on every social media to see his recent posts. Not only will this make you restless, but you can also get more heartbroken, especially when you find out they have moved on already. Moreover, you won’t have the time to focus on important things. Do yourself a favor of not stalking your ex. If it looks impossible, try to unfollow or block yourself from seeing his updates.
Rise over it
Break up comes with a form of energy that makes you want to do things without looking back or going back. Channel that energy to building yourself. Put more into your career. Engage in things that make you develop. Be Focused with no distraction. Before you know it, you are at the top. Rise over it! That’s how you get over it!
Above are what you should do to get over a traumatic breakup.
How to get over a breakup quickly
If you want to get over a breakup quickly, below are what you should not do
Do not use alcohol to get over your ex; you will probably become a drunk. Falling in love has been said to bag an addictive feeling like that of cocaine. So when you break up, it is like cocaine withdrawal. You are trying to get out of addiction, so if you use alcohol, you are likely to take more than your body can accommodate and probably get addicted to it as time goes on. While trying to get away from an addiction, you will only fall into another. Moreover, too much alcohol can jeopardize one’s health.
Use Brand New relationship
Getting into a relationship to heal is not the best. Try to give yourself time, understand what caused your last break up, and give room for self-evaluation. Do not rush into a new relationship when your heart is still with someone else- your heart is not ready. If you run into another relationship, you are putting such a relationship at risk. This can send the relationship to its early grave.
Hook up with another ex
Hooking up with one of your exes to feel better or make him jealous is not healthy. You should know that your ex broke up with you, and he is gone; he doesn’t care anymore. Do not go back to another ex; remember, they became an ex for a reason.
Post your break-up on social media
Do not give your ex the room to say,” didn’t I tell you?” Do not post your break up, it is not healthy. You will have to spend all of your time waiting for their reaction, and when you get nothing, it makes you bitter and angry. You are back to wallowing again.
Believe love can’t find you
Love is out there looking for you, don’t ever give up on love. Remind yourself every time that you are loveable and stop turning down social invitations.
Don’t go all night partying to forget your ex, as you see in movies. Your life is real and not a movie. After partying hard, you come back to meet the pain you left at home to party. They will still be there. Why not use that time to heal on your own. Determine you want to deal with your pains patiently, without having to come back to them after a while.
Make yourself idle
Idleness will only give room for you to think about what you are trying to forget. Engage yourself in activities that can benefit you; it will help you get over the traumatic break up quickly.
Break up can be challenging to overcome, but sometimes it can be the best decision you ever made. Although getting over it can be easier said than done, still live your life well, make yourself a better person, learn to live without pain and hurt. Be happy and free. No one deserves to be happy than you.
Below are quotes to help you heal from a traumatic breakup
“This is a good sign, having a broken heart. It means we have tried for something.”
— Elizabeth Gilbert
“Those who do not know how to weep with their whole heart do not know how to laugh either.”
– Golda Meir
“Hearts live by being wounded.”
– Oscar Wilde
“What’s broken is broken—and I’d rather remember it as it was than mend it and see the broken places as long as I lived.”
_ Margaret Mitchell