Moms are super amazing beings, a big shout out to every woman out there seeking ways to be an amazing mom. Every mom wants to be the best version of herself for her children. Still, motherhood is an individual lifelong journey that comes with moments of joy, happiness, satisfaction, exhaustion, worry, and fear but the big question every mom gets to ask herself is this: “How do I become that perfect mom for my kids?”
The word ‘perfect’ is a little bit out of play because the truth is this – there are no perfect moms out there, the same way that there are no perfect individuals too. To be perfect means to be without flaws; it means to be excellent and complete in all respects. As a mother, you keep growing, gaining knowledge and experiences that do not exclude making mistakes.
I believe that since there is no such thing as a ‘perfect’ mom, there are good, excellent, and amazing moms out there who are known and well-respected for their unending sacrifices and unconditional love for their kids. Ricki Lake once said that “Motherhood is the greatest and the hardest thing,” and in the actual sense of it, that is so true! But you see, a healthy mom is the foundation of an excellent mom. Your child needs a healthy version of you first before anything else.
Qualities of an excellent mom
A good mom is selfless but acknowledges that she needs a ‘me-time’ to take care of herself. She is patient, disciplined, joyful, and always very welcoming. She is kind, generous, and, most importantly, loving to her kids.
Ways to be that amazing mom for your kids
Take care of yourself
One mistake many moms make is putting themselves last on their lists of priorities. That should not be! If that is your definition of selflessness, then you are wrong! The truth is that when you take out time to care for yourself, you create a healthier and serene atmosphere that allows you to care for your kids too. You need to ensure that your feelings, body, mind, and spirit are always in good condition.
Love your kids unconditionally
Mothers are super amazing when it comes to loving their kids. Still, you also must ensure that you are not placing a demand on a particular criterion for your kids in exchange for your show of love to them, whether consciously or unconsciously. Love them and let it be without conditions.
Model the behaviours you want to see
They always say that example is one of the ways to lead. It is not just one way to lead; it is the ONLY way to lead. Be a good example to your kids. The kids are always watching, they are very observant, and they act based on what they see you do. Sometimes, there are other external influences on your child’s behaviors, but the one that leaves an indelible mark is the ones they see you do.
Spend quality time with your kids
This is one thing you should not trade for anything, not even your jobs or businesses. I can truly understand and relate to your busy work schedule, but your child needs not just a once-in-a-while time spent with you but a regular and quality time with you. Make this of utmost importance every day. Ask them questions and be very much interested in what they have to say.
Have logical expectations
Where expectations are concerned, the big question you need to ask is this: “Are they reasonable?” For example, you have a 1-year-old in the house, and you expect the house to be all neat and tidy every time. No, you can not possibly have the house neat that way. Or maybe you expect your child to be well composed all day, no cry, no playing with toys, no littering the floor. Haha! Have a reasonable expectation; when you do so, you would see things from a better perspective and not lash out unnecessarily.
Avoid unhealthy comparison
You should never compare your child with anyone else’s and also not even with their other siblings. Every child is unique in his/her way. What comparison does is that it weakens the child’s self-esteem in question and shatters his/her confidence. As a mom, celebrate their strengths and embrace their weaknesses.
Discipline comes with various approaches, and whenever your child misbehaves, it is okay to discipline him/her. However, where discipline is concerned, ensure that you are disciplining the child the right way. For example, when your son does something you have told him not to do, you can punish him for that and let him know that the reason for punishing him is because of what he did and not for something else. Do not punish him today because of what he did four months ago, and do not punish him for what you assume he did. Ensure that the discipline matches the offence.
Appreciate every effort no matter how little
Do not be that ever complaining, mom, cut yourself some slack sometimes. No kid loves to be yelled at every time. They do something good, appreciate them no matter how little. That way, they would want to do better. Let them know that you see those little things and appreciate them for attempting them.
In a cause of misbehavior, do not take it too personally
You have to understand that, many of the times, your kids would misbehave. They would not always be in their best behaviors, but whenever they misbehave, sometimes you need to take a step back and see reasons for the behavior change. I am not saying you should not correct your child for his/her misbehavior, but sometimes you do not always have to act out. The truth is that growth sometimes results in conflict.
Ways to be an amazon mom with teen
Have discussions on important matters often
As a mother, never shy away from discussing important matters like sex and money. Do not wait till forever, start as early as possible! David Ezell once said that “Normalizing sex is crucial, and waiting for a special day in the future is kicking a can down the road” Do not wait until your child does not feel comfortable about having such conversations with you any longer. Have a beautiful and interesting conversation with them, ensure it does not come out boring and exhausting. The same goes for money too, talk to them about setting goals where saving and spending are concerned, teaching them how to manage money, and teaching them to be charitable.
Know what interests your kids.
Knowing what interests your child helps you gain perspective as to who your child is and what he/she likes. Sometimes you may need to find out on your own, and you do not necessarily have to wait to strike a conversation on that. Pay attention closely; it usually takes time but be patient with the process. After all the child did not just grow in one day.
Be a listening mom
Whenever your kid has something to say, listen attentively, focus your attention on them. Be open to their feedback, know what they think about certain issues. You may not have to agree with all of it, but ensure you listen. What this does is that it boosts their self-confidence in a way and helps them see life from a bigger and wider perspective.
Communicate your feelings
As a mom, you will not always have everything fixed up. Maybe you had a bad day at work, for example, and then you get home, but your kids are all over you. Instead of shouting at them, why not communicate how you feel. You can say things like, “Mommy is not so happy with something that happened earlier today, so she might be a little quiet today” That is quite better than transferring the anger you have bottled up on your inside. This type of conversation helps model how well you can manage your mood healthily, which helps them grow differently.
Create a friendly and welcoming atmosphere for your kids
Be that mom that her kids can call her best friend. Create a peaceful and welcoming atmosphere for your kids. Let them know that they can talk to you about anything in their life at any time. Always be there for them, support them and let them always know that you have their back and that they can always trust you. Do not just tell them these; model it.
Take responsibility for your faults
I know one seemingly difficult thing to do is to admit your wrongs to your kids. No, that should not be. You did something wrong; instead of trying to give excuses, why not apologize for it? This helps your kids too because by that, they can also apologize whenever they are wrong.
Allow your child to make mistakes
As a mom, when your child starts getting older and he/she makes mistakes, you have to be there so that he/she knows that they can always look to you, but you should not always help them fix it. Let them find out themselves what they did wrong. It is OK to clue them in but do not fix it for them. The truth is, you would not always be with them, so with that, you are teaching them how to fix the issues of life.
Fulfil your promises
Children are very smart, and they remember the little promises you made in the past. When you make promises, ensure you fulfill them. When you do that, they can bank on your words at any time, and they trust you more. Ensure you do not make promises you would not eventually fulfill. It hurts them.
Find a balance between encouragement and influence
As a mom, sometimes, you may tend to influence, structure, and open your kids to many opportunities that you feel are best for them, but you should allow your children to be who they are with guidance, love, and encouragement from you. Find the balance between encouragement and influence.
Children grow at a different pace, so you have to be very tolerant—one step at a time, two by two, easy and slow. Do not rush; growth takes time. Be patient. After all, you were not pregnant yesterday, and you gave birth today. It took you an average of 9 months in your womb before you had them out. Have all the patience you can ever have on each growing child.
Get advice from older moms or expert
These people know better; they have far greater experiences than you have, so getting advice from them may help. It is okay if you do not have all the answers, but you can only get them when you ask.
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